Shrink
by pinkydog123
Summary: How often do you think of him?" "All the time" "Recently?" "Right now, God, always" "Who?" "You" EB SMUT One-shot AU OOC
1. Chapter 1

**I'm so sorry guys, you must hate me, it has been so long since I updated Impossible, and I will get on it, first vacation, and then swim practice, to this frustrating shoulder injury, its just been frustrating for me and I haven't bothered with this, I am deeply sorry with this, I know you've been waiting, but just read this for me and I will update, I swear, I just had to post this short story I thought of, it has been stuck in my head, causing writers block to my other story, so I just decided to write it and the story kept going until I got about 3-4 chapters in, I don't know where this story came from but its added to the forbidden Edward that's seems so appealing to me for some reason. But it is complete, so don't worry, I will get to Impossible.**

**And the thing that I like to think most, is that no matter what, in whatever shape or form or whatever Alternate Universe, that Edward and Bella were made for each other no matter what in any circumstance, as long as they found each other, they were just bound to be together. That's my cheesy helpless romantic side talking. ^_^**

**Enjoy.**

**It is different for me, so bare with me, I've never written from a guys POV before so hopefully it sounds man enough. It started out to be a One-shot Smut Fic, but I think I may be Smut Challenged, Fluff just ended up in here, even without my permission, it was just there, so its kind of a One-shot, Smut, Fluff, Romance Fic. But there is Smut, just to keep you addicts reading. I know I'm one of them. : D**

**Playlist:**

**Part One.**

**The Postal Service:**

**The District Sleeps Alone Tonight**

**Such Great Heights**

**Sleeping In**

**Recycled Air**

**Clark Gable**

**Brand New Colony**

**Part Two.**

**The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus:**

**In Fate's Hands**

**False Pretense**

**Face Down**

**Your Guardian Angel**

**Face Down (Acoustic)**

**Cat and Mouse**

I don't know why I'm writing a Playlist for this Fic, something different for me, but these are the songs I listened to as I seemed to just jot this Fic on paper, the Artists seem to really go along with the tone on both parts I wrote, Part One: The Postal Service is digital, calm while Part Two: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, is heavy rock, something a lot more rough and less collected, they're both really opposite in terms of bands and the way they play their music. Explaining the way Edwards mind was working I think, so if you guys haven't heard some of these songs I suggest you check them out, they're really good.

Now onto the story, finally right?

**EPOV – Part One. **

**Patient: Isabella Marie Black, recently changed back to former maiden name, "Swan", prior to divorce.**

**Age: 27**

**Height: 5" 7'**

**Appearance: Deep brown eyes, expressive, auburn hair, slim figure.**

**Weight: 125 lbs**

**Notes: Detached from everything around her, that once interested her, took divorce hard, but still cant understand why, according to reason of divorce, but still very selfless, only concerned in helping those around her, which continues to be a problem, doesn't think to take care of herself, not tending to her own needs, including help in therapy.**

**Occupation: Former housewife.**

**Future goals: Talk about former abuse.**

**Ex-husband: Jacob Black, took everything from her, making her completely dependent on him alone, very possessive, and jealous toward anyone who approached her, anger to the point of dangerous, very short temper, all usual behavior of an abusive husband.**

**Patient goal: Move on.**

**-Session # 27. 10:30 AM December 4' 2009 –**

I looked up from my past log when I heard a short tap on my office door, softly addressing the person to step in.

Bella.

I figured that it might help the patient feel more comfortable if I would address her casually by her request of course, from our first session.

Her form quietly slipped in, timidly shutting the door behind her, her usual entrance, I instantly stood up to greet her, kindly helping her with her heavy coat, noting that it had begun to snow outside, remembering back to when she had mentioned hating the cold, what an odd thing to say, I mussed, being it was basically cold, almost year around.

"Enjoying the weather?" I asked, teasing her in a friendly manner, comfort was always first, the mind seemed to soften and relax under a slow and safe environment, exactly what I needed for her to open up to me.

She scoffed at me I smiled.

Good – today was a good day, splendid.

She pulled off her blue sweater beautifully, I thought, noting she had taken my advice in throwing more color into her wardrobe, making her confident in wearing not so baggy clothes like she once did. We agreed on wearing colors of the mood we felt form the moment we woke up in the morning. I was unfortunately wearing black today, for the first thought in my mind was to kill the alarm clock and gladly fall back asleep. And inside joke we both found once she presented that story to me once using a last minute excuse for her wearing lack of color when she still insisted on wearing something dull and plain.

There was a kind, loving and carefree person in there somewhere; I just had to find her.

"Blue?" I asked softly, in the quiet room, my eyes running over the sweater trying to decipher the reason, sadness first came to mind, which I hoped was a wrong guess, it seemed like we had made so much progress.

The I looked up to see a blush fill her cheeks, Bella was also very shy and self conscious, something I'm afraid her ex-husband took advantage of, only making it worsen with time, she nodded once, making me realize we were still standing in front of the door, I cleared my throat and made it over to the plush coach, sinking into the cushions, patting the spot next to me in a friendly gesture.

I smiled once she seated herself and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees.

"You first." She spoke, the first thing she said so far, since entering my office, pulling her legs up against her chest, but first slipping off her shoes. Comfort, was the key.

Defensive posture – though, not necessarily good.

I watched as she rested her chin on her knees, her stare intent on the sprawling cityscape, looking out the windows that took up most of the walls of my office, making it seem as if we were literally in the air, the gray skies surrounding us, snow falling amongst the crystal clear windows. Making it almost surreal as they fell silently outside the glass, it really was lovely; I remembered her love for painting scenery, playing with the thought of maybe getting her to start once again.

"Blacks not very good," she added quietly, finding her eyes on my sweater, her voice becoming somber.

"I thought of you actually, when my alarm went off I just wanted to chuck it across the room and go back to sleep." I smiled, meeting her eyes, but she turned away, causing me to sigh, were we back to square one? Or had I fabricated all the progress we had successfully made? I thought she had moved on, she told me she had eyes on someone, which was great, leading me to believe she would be able to have a healthy, physical relationship with another man again, even after the abuse she had endured.

"Will you tell me yours?" I wondered softly, I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours, I thought.

Bella nodded vulnerably, tugging at the end of her sleeves, hiding the scares I know were on her forearm. They would go away in time, but she still refused to see that.

"Well, its silly, really, I woke up with my window open and I realized just how much I really missed the sun and the sky, so, blue for sorrow, I guess and for the sky, I saw this shade in my closet, thinking how much it matched the sky" she concluded beautifully, timidly. My eyes roamed over the baby blue, yes, it did.

"It is lovely." I commented, politely, hoping to raise her self-esteem, if not just for a moment, so her eyes would at least meet mine, it was my only way of reading her; a blush filled her cheeks once again. Thinking of where to start from there.

"Maybe you should take a vacation? Relieve stress, somewhere sunny and nice and hot." I smiled, noticing the excitement spark in her eyes briefly at the thought, still – it was there.

But she shook her head.

"I wouldn't want to go by myself." She sighed softly, sadly.

I sighed,

"Jake moved us here – away from family, and friends, away from – " I heard her voice crack and looked over to see her eyes glistening with unshed tear, it would seem cruel to say I was happy, but I was, she had brought him up on her own, for the first time, without me having to push.

I got up to grab some tissues, and handed them to her, our fingers brushing.

She would be able to talk and move on.

"How often do you think of him?" I asked,

"Not as mush as I used to." She sniffled, feeling a pang at the sound. I sighed, moving on.

"Not since I – " but she cut herself off, refusing to meet my gaze.

"Not since you met him? And you still don't want to tell me his name?" I wondered intently, watching a tear softly slide down her red skin, that blush.

"I cant" Bella stated almost to quiet for me to hear.

"I don't understand – if he makes you happy, why would you wish to hide him?" I asked, truly curious, sitting back, crossing my legs so my left ankle rested on my right knee.

But she shook her head, refusing to answer. Stubborn as ever.

"Bella – I can't help you unless you want me to."

I softly rested my hand on her bicep, and she flinched back, I dint expect the level of hurt to course through me then.

"It would only make things worse if you knew." She pleaded, standing up, that's when I thought I knew.

"Bella – " I stated slowly, "Does this man, does he hurt as well? Like Jake did?" I asked cautiously, slowly, as if she were a child, hoping to God that I was wrong, please, let me be, this woman doesn't deserve this, any of it, she deserves so much more, she's been through enough already.

"No. He could never hurt me." She stated honestly, I relaxed. "No, he would never hurt me, he's not like that at all – he's the first man I haven't been afraid to be around, I'm comfortable around him." She bit down on her bottom lip, almost like she had said too much already, grabbing her coat.

That's when I noticed her hour was already up, I'd have to wait another week to see if I could get a name out of her, at least a name, then we could go from there.

I walked up to her, helping her slip her arms into the sleeves of her coat noting that, at the beginning of her sessions that perhaps a little chivalry would help her along the way, to maybe get her to think that not all men were like her ex-husband, I just did it ever since and she usually light heartedly complained about my manners, a blush adorning her cheeks every time.

Not today, today was different and it was my job to figure out what and I still just drew up a blank, it was my job to help her move on, and now, I wasn't fulfilling that purpose.

"Have a good day Bella." I stated softly as she departed without a word.

I shut the door and turned in my office, striding over to my desk and plopping into my chair with my head in my hands.

So much for progress. I may have made things worse. I scoffed.

I had every intention on helping her move on with her life, I felt like I had failed some how.

Could it be possible that she found herself in another abusive relationship? It's more likely to find an abusive partner once you've already been with on.

My hands made fists in my hair.

What could I do?

**-Session # 37. 10:30 AM Feb. 6' 2010-**

"Edward."

I couldn't help my smile from widening when I heard her greet me by my name.

Progress.

I stood going through our usual routine of taking her coat off, but something seemed a bit off, today I couldn't help but notice her body brushing up against min – her shoulders under my hands as I took her jacket. She turned and met my eyes, a smile stretching her darker lips, she seemed so much healthier and happier, even from the last time I'd seen her, today, she was wearing brown.

"Brown." I mused; I myself could feel my spirits lift, what a good day.

"Red." She returned, pursing her lips, drawing my attention there.

"You first." I countered before she could say anything – my eyes squinting playfully.

She walked in front of me, sitting down first – taking the lead - it would be an understatement to say I was pleased.

"I felt – I know brown doesn't necessarily mean happy – but – I saw it in my eyes this morning when I looked into the mirror." Her head rose, a beautiful red painting her cheeks when she saw me watching her, still standing by the doorway.

"Your eyes are brown," I noted, helping her along and thinking the sweater really brought the color out of them.

"Yes," she nodded, full of fervency.

"And I haven't seen them like that since – I just _feel_ happy." She emphasized, like it was some foreign emotion, not commonly experienced.

"It shows" I smiled happily, I was truly glad for her.

I sat down in a chair across from the sofa where she was sitting.

"My parents are coming." She added, her smile growing, if it could by now, I felt truly happy, this was an improvement, a huge one, I had been trying to convince her to contact her family, but like most she felt ashamed, like they would some how see her differently once they found out.

It seemed like she was thinking that now as her smile began to droop, I leaned forward, oh no, I would be having none of that when she was in such a good mood already.

"Bella – your parents wont love you any less." I stated softly, confidently, I've talked to them previously myself, quite a few times and it was strongly obvious on how much they loved and cared and worried for their only daughter.

She silently nodded, "Now its your turn." Her eyes trailing down to my sweater, I could feel her scrutinizing the color.

I chuckled, "My younger sister called me at six this morning, reminding me about Valentines Day." I shook my head, Alice.

"Anger?" she guessed, her doe eyes daring to my own.

"Something like that, she's a handful, let me assure you." I smiled.

"I would hate to get between you and your sleep Edward, it seems to be the channel of most of your emotions." She acknowledged innocently, my smile widened.

"Yes – the earlier you figure that out the better." I teased, relaxing back into the chair, our eyes met but she quickly averted her gaze, tucking strays of her hair behind her ear, looking elsewhere. My brow wrinkled.

"Bella?" I sighed, her eyes meeting mine once again, this time holding my stare. "Everything else has been okay?" I wondered, concerned. I hated being serious after all the happiness she had been experiencing but I felt that I had to.

She nodded, "College had been going okay, and working at the library is a lot more satisfying then I would've thought which emphasized the decision in majoring in Literature, I'm on my way to getting a Masters I've already got a Bachelors Degree, its just that Jake never – " she trailed off after that, her eyes downcast. I decided to move on with that for now.

"Excellent choice." I complimented, remembering how she had taken interest in the books on the shelves in my office, the collection a fair size, some not just dealing with psychology.

A few more months and she would be completely independent.

"Any relationships?" I inquired, turning professional.

This seemed to be the wrong question to ask, if I was avoiding that, her eyes dropped and she shook her head, her features masked with a sudden sadness.

Great Cullen.

"What about – "

"He doesn't know." She cut me off, her eyes quickly meeting mine – but looking away just as fast. Okay, now I had to breech the subject, she _always _acted this way whenever I mentioned him.

"Why don't you let him know? Why don't you try telling him how you feel?" I leaned forward.

"I cant, he cant know." She whispered, fidgeting with her hands in her lap, her posture stiff.

I stood and went to sit by her on the couch, but she only turned her head away, her auburn hair a curtain, a barrier between me and her mind, I couldn't tell her reactions unless I could see her eyes, her face.

I took a moment to think I can't know his name, and he can't know her feelings towards him, whatever they may be.

"Is he one of your Professor?" I wondered softly.

But she shook her head, no, then who?

"What do I have to do for you to tell me?" I almost pleaded with her; she couldn't receive my help unless she told me. Gave me all the details.

"You know Doctor, patient privilege Bella. You know everything you say never, ever leaves this room, I would never fail your confidence, I would never wish to lose your trust." I stated honestly, anything but that, I was a man after all, one that she trusted after what she had been through with her, ex-husband, I couldn't betray her, I couldn't fail her, I just couldn't, if I did there was a slight chance that she would never be able to feel comfortable around a man again, or trust one for that matter.

"It would only make matters worse." She sighed, as if the worst was just inevitable to her. Her gaze turned to the clock, swiftly getting up.

"My times up, I'll see you next week Dr. Cullen." Her voice monotone, grabbing her coat, not waiting for my usual gesture before she left.

I sighed, wondering if I had figured anything out this time.

One step forward, two steps back.

**-9 Am Feb 10' 2010 -**

**Notes:**

**Patient: Isabella Swan.**

**Detached, very expressive, and emotional, unexpected mood swings, have no common pattern in shape or form. Close to family, I would like to meet parents whenever in town, but never got the chance to breech the subject with her yet.**

**Relationships: Mystery Man? Question further next session.**

I decided to go out for a cup of coffee while I finished my notes on some patient, particularly Bella. Normally I didn't run into any, being as the size of Seattle is rather large, its very rare, but when I finished writing I looked up to see the door open, Bella walking in with snow melting in her hair and glistening on her already damp shoulders.

I would have waved her over out of politeness, but I wanted to watch her, I wanted to see how she interacted with the man at the counter as she ordered. I watched as his eyes sized her up, raking over her body, the usual reaction I expected.

Bella didn't even notice as she decided on what to order, I knew she was attractive, of course, it was something one could not miss, the thing that I figured out later was that she had no idea, she wasn't even award of how people thought of her, how beautiful she really was. Something I was also determined to convince her, she was gorgeous, she was also unaware that some looked upon her with envy.

A sudden pant went through my chest – in that moment I really wished she would be able to move on, to get married by a man who truly respected her, and who she is.

I looked won to quickly jot down some more notes.

"May I sit with you?"

"Bella." I looked up and smiled to see a coffee in her hand a bag slung across her shoulder, her hair piled up on her head, complimenting her open tan coat and jeans, very casual, but still nice, she was starting to clean up better from when I first started to see her.

"Of course. You don't have to though." I added, quickly, not wanting her to think this would be like another one of her sessions.

"Is that your meaning for saying no?" But she smiled, teasing me, as she sat down, moving her bangs out of her face.

"You go a hair cut." I acknowledged, a soft smile forming, noticing how her deep brown locks framed her face beautifully.

"Yes, I wanted to look different – since I feel that way." Her dazzling white teeth showing.

"It's lovely."

"White," I stated softly, looking at the turtleneck she had on, the collar softly resting under her delicate chin and jaw.

"My brother sent my favorite flowers to my apartment this morning." Her smile growing, if that was possible.

I took a sip of my coffee, trying to think of beautiful white flowers.

"Roses." I guessed.

She scoffed playfully, "Too common, something too expected."

"Orchids?"

"Nope, too hard to manage."

"Daises?"

"Wrong."

"Petunias?"

"Guess again."

"Tulips?"

"Not in season."

I tried to think, I wasn't really a flower person, and those were basically all the names I knew, my shoulders fell, she laughed.

"Casablanca Lilies." She informed me.

"Your gonna have to show me those sometime." I stated, yep, no idea what those were, completely clueless.

Her smile widened, there was just something about today. But then Bella sighed, her eyes downcast.

"I'm sorry – the way I've acted at the previous sessions, I haven't really been cooperative to say the least."

I shook my head, closing the journals in front of me.

"There's never a need to apologize, we have our good days and our bad days, and I've had worse, trust me."

"I do," she stated softly, as if she were talking to herself.

"And I'm thankful for that." I reassured her. Noting how serious our conversation had gotten serious in so little time. I lightly took her hand that rested on the table in mine, her eyes successfully meeting min.

"My jobs never easy, and I never expect it to be."

She quietly nodded, a light coming form her doe eyes as a blush over took her face delicately painting her cheeks I smiled.

"Now – no more talking about these things, I have the day off." I smirked, as she chuckled, "I cant help but being stressed out though." I added, noticing my hand was still holding hers I pulled away.

"Why." She questioned – her head cocking to the side, and I had to stop for a moment, a reaction not normally dealt with. I sighed, tapping my fingers on the tabletop.

"My sister is hounding me on Valentines Day, now it's not that big of a deal, mind you, but she's making it one." I chuckled a little.

"But that's Alice."

I looked up to see her smiling at me, and I didn't say anything – gouging her response.

"Flowers are always a safe territory, roses?" she added in question.

I pursed my lips, well….

"Roses, it is." I agreed, nodding my head. She laughed.

We seemed to both stand up at the same time, when she stated,

"I should go, I'm meeting someone."

"That's wonderful." I automatically replied. Autopilot.

I shook my head. Nope.

"I need to get going too – I need to go get flowers." I smiled turning around to throw both her and my finished coffee cups away.

"Bye." I heard behind me, too close to my ear, and that's when I felt a soft but very brief pressure on my cheek, It was barely there and so innocent, but I immediately froze, turning to see her back leave out the door and down the sidewalk.

Feeling.

And that's when it clicked.

The first man she trusted since…

My heart stopped, and my throat constricted as I tried to swallow. Oh no, this would only make matters worse, I groaned. Now it all made sense and I was too stupid to notice any of the signs before.

Too stupid, or too close.

Great.

TBC

I'd like for you guys to tell me what you think of the songs, if you listen to them, or if you just did.


	2. Chapter 2

**-Session # 32 10:30AM Feb. 13' 2010-**

**Notes: I failed to help my patient, and in trying to help, she had developed some sort of romantic feelings towards her therapist, me. Today will be the day that I must confront her on my suspicions and reassign her to someone new, there's nothing more I can do for her, if this is the case, it would only be cruel to continue seeing her in once a weeks sessions, I would only be in the way, preventing her from fully moving on with the problems she had been facing for the last 5 months. **

I shut my notebook and set it down, along with my pen, a sigh escaping my lips, raking a hand through my hair.

What a mess.

And today was the second session of the month, being as when I first met her, she had nightmares every night, whenever she was actually able to catch some sleep. We both made a deal that we would tell each others dreams in the second week of every month, in order for her to open up to me more easily. I'll show you mine, if you'll show me yours.

My heart stopped in fright.

I had dreamt of her, inappropriately to say it lightly.

I'm no better then the bastard that is her ex-husband, the mongrel that beat and degraded her. That caused her all these insecurities and nightmares, and just full out problems.

I shook those thoughts away, I had to keep a level head, things had changed and spiraled out of control so fast, I had lost control, one of the things that I so strongly had to keep in line in my sessions, with anyone, I had to be the one in control, in order to help, and now, I was incapable to do so.

I had failed her, by this happening.

This was the best for both of us.

We had become too close.

It's not her fault, I made this happen, I let my feeling get away from me; it was too easy with her, for myself to open up with honesty.

Everything about her, her mannerisms, her emotions, personality, the way she thought, expressed herself, everything about her was so…

A knock on the door brought me from my thoughts, my joints freezing up, I swallowed, my hands becoming clammy.

This is it. Let her go.

I stood and opened the door for her, my breath catching in my throat.

I had done so many studies regarding the human mind and how quickly it worked and how fast thoughts and emotions could change over night.

But I had never experienced it myself before, not like this, they had never changed this fast and been so strong like this before.

"Happy early Valentines Day Edward." She greeted softly, padding inside. The scent of freesias following – now I knew what she smelled like, my senses hyperaware to her behind me, I shook my head.

No.

I was the first man she has been able to trust; I couldn't deceive that trust – ever. I promised her. I had to be a friend, someone she could turn to, not jump her when she was most vulnerable, when she needed help the most.

I plastered a smile on my face, closing the door.

"Thank you Bella." I responded curtly.

Her eyebrows flared, in confusion, already sensing the difference, she read me all too well, and I was the shrink, I should've been able to hide my thoughts, I snorted.

I sighed, "We – need to talk, please, have a seat."

But she stood still, "I know what this is about."

I ignored her, in order to keep my sanity; I took my notepad with the previous notes I had made of recent sessions.

"This – man you've spoken of before, what does he do? His profession?"

Her head shook stubbornly, I dropped the pad, about at the end of my rope, she knew I did and I had to keep calm, and I couldn't, not anymore.

"Bella, I must reassign you, to someone else."

This surprised her, "What for?"

My fist clenched, my teeth grinding together, my jaw locked as I stated, "I know your aware as to why I have to."

She stepped closer, my heart pounding in my chest.

"I dreamt of you last night." She stated softly, throwing me off guard by the change in subject, her eyes growing sad, the light no longer there. Her shoulders dropped and her head turned away, unable to look at me. I had brought this to her, my chest ached and I felt horrible for this to happen, but we had agreed to be honest, to each other, so I told her.

"As I, you." I admitted, her eyes immediately locking onto mine.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, falling down on the sofa, never taking her coat off, I sighed, wiping my hand down my face.

"There's no need to be sorry, there's one thing that I've taught you about emotions, and that you can't control them." I stated, thinking about my own.

I went down and sat beside her, even thought I knew I shouldn't.

"Something I've learned along with you." I stated quietly, her tear filled eyes meeting my solemn gaze.

Pain shot through me and my whole face contracted, trying to control the impulse, but I couldn't, I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, her small frame leaning into my own.

A sob wracked her and I wrapped both of my arms around her, realizing that this was how I had been aching to comfort her for this long, every time she broke down, I just didn't know, I didn't know now that she was here my insides stopped aching and I could finally help her the way she needed help. So she could finally start to heal and move on.

Bella pressed her wet face into my neck and I allowed my eyes to drift closed.

"I didn't mean for this to happen." She sniffled.

"Me neither." I answered quietly.

She pressed a light kiss to my neck and all the breath in my lungs left in one big whoosh. I couldn't do this, and neither could she, I wasn't even sure if she were even ready to have a physical relationship with me, or any other man yet.

I knew I couldn't do this, because I was completely too ready.

"Hold me Edward."

But I also knew I couldn't deny her, ever since she was my patient from the beginning, I couldn't. Before I could say anything she had lifted her legs, situating herself in my lap.

So, I just sat there and buried my face in her hair, I wasn't doing anything inappropriate by her standards, this, is what she needed, and I knew now, there were, no limits for me, to make her happy, or help her in anyway, I would do anything.

A few minutes later she spoke.

"I just feel safe with you – I haven't felt that way in so long." She admitted, burying her nose in the crook of my shoulder.

"Perhaps with time you can move on with someone else."

"I don't want to move on with someone else."

This was the territory I dint want reach, the place where there was no going back or forward with her.

An impasse.

"You have to." I insisted, pulling back to look at her.

That's when her hand reached up to touch my face, her palm cupping my cheek, was I a goner? I groaned painfully, she was making this so much worse.

"Bella, don't make this any harder then it is now." I pleaded,

"I know you feel the same."

"I can't," I begged with her.

"But you do," she added softly, running her hand through my hair, the feeling, intoxicating.

Then my lips were on hers, almost feverishly, the feeling was incredible, I knew I couldn't regret it for at least a minute, our lips moved in perfect sync, and I thought how beautiful she was, how warm and soft her body and lips were, how beautiful she was everywhere, my hair kept running through her fingers and I felt drugged once her tongue touched mine, intertwining in a constant dance.

This was heaven.

I can't remember when she got under me, her back lying across the couch, but that's when she froze.

I immediately pulled away, here it was, she must feel overwhelmed, she must think I was going to force myself on her, bile rising in my throat, I couldn't, she must thing I'm no better then her ex-husband.

Now I've really ruined things.

"I'm sorry." I apologized, getting off her, I ruined it, now she can't feel safe anywhere and now she cant go to anyone for help.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, out of breath, I was about to lose my mind, why couldn't I meet her before all this happened? And she wasn't my patient, this was completely forbidden and now, I just cost myself my job.

"I didn't mean to – "I was mostly speaking to myself at this point, my back facing her.

I hadn't realized a sob escaped until I felt small arms wrap around my waist from behind, Bella resting her forehead against my back.

"I just wasn't expecting it – that's all." She stated quietly.

"Me neither." Repeating my statement from earlier.

A lump automatically began to build in my throat, how could I have let this happen? I felt the muscles in my stomach tighten, I was a monster for letting myself be attracted to an already mentally damaged woman, I was suppose to _help_ her, not make her fear _another_ man. Thing she can't trust anyone with out him jumping her,

"I'm not afraid of you." As if she could read my own thoughts.

"I kissed you back." She added, somewhat pleased with herself. I snorted, what for?

"We shouldn't even be thinking about this." I breathed, still not strong enough to walk out of her hold, I would never be, I thought warily.

"I know why your doing this – " I turned around, trying a new tactic, it may hurt, and I'm sorry, but it was the only way to try for her to move on, it was for the best.

All this was to help her, minus the last five minutes.

"Bella you don't _really_ feel this way about me, I'm your out, I'm the first man you've gotten to know, once your complete with your therapy you can move on with new people, someone you can actually be with – someone else.

"That's not true." She stated, somewhat stubbornly, ah yes, I knew this side of her way all too well.

"I've met plenty of other men, they pale in comparison, you cant tell me how I feel." She insisted. I shook my head, taking in the fire sparking in her eye, whenever she seemed to argue with someone, particularly me.

"Bella your confused, you don't know what you feel." I tried to reason with her, but I knew it was short lived, I could see the determination set in her eyes, her mind was set.

She did know what she was talking about.

That's when she grabbed my palm and placed an open mouthed kiss right in the center.

The little vixen. Who knew?

Bella had no idea how tight she had me wrapped around her pretty finger, hell; I had no idea until now. Her eyes met mine, her lips ascending to mine, and I didn't stop myself, I couldn't, and I didn't want to.

I was too selfish to stop now, to care about anything else, but this.

My eyes immediately closed while I bit back a groan, this felt too good, it felt just too perfect, and I had to enjoy it while it lasted. Both my hands lightly fisted themselves in her hair while she urged me backward, unexpectedly falling into my chair, Bella following suit. She had planned this, but I was too busy to think that through further.

Jesus I loved her.

This had to be it.

This had to be what it felt like to kiss the person you love.

I was too far-gone now.

We both were.

She straddled me, wrapping her legs around my waist, her ankles crossing at the back of the chair, the feeling so natural, I growled as her nails raked through my hair. I was never myself during sex, women said they like it, but I wasn't sure about Bella, I knew I had to hold back she was different, in so many ways from other women, and that's one of the reasons why I knew I was falling in love with her.

I groaned we were going to have sex, the thought somewhat surreal.

As if she could read my thoughts, she thrust forward, and into my erection.

Fuck yes, that felt amazing.

I'm not sure I could hold back with her, which scared me.

My tongue thrust forward into her mouth, earning a whimper, I grew harder just by that sound, I uncontrollably gripped her hips and snapped my hips upward, both of us gasping against each others mouths as that sent a stab through my whole entire body, I was about ready to explode, I was about to lose my mind.

I had to have her, the only thought processing through my head.

I had to be inside her. I groaned.

"Bella." I panted, struggling to get my shirt open.

"Edward." She mewled as she nibbled and sucked on my neck, she was driving me insane.

As if it was fate, my secretary buzzed on the intercom to my phone.

"Mr. Cullen, your lunch meeting is going to start in five minutes."

"Shit." I cursed under my breath, clearing the fog in my head, I honestly forgot we were still in my office, in my chair no doubt.

I tried to control my breathing as I pressed on the button to answer,

"Uh – thanks Jeannie, lost track of time."

I looked forward, for Bella to lean her forehead against mine, catching her breath also. The whole situation landed on me again and I began to panic, my breathing picking up for a very different reason.

My patient – who came here after divorcing her abusive husband, after pressing charges, landing him in jail – was now straddling my lap, while I had a raging hard on after all the sucking face we had been doing.

"Bella…" I breathed, shaking my head.

She nodded and stood up, "You need to go."

Then, she was gone.

I let out a breath of air, what the hell just happened? How had thins flipped so fast? Both times?

Jesus was I an idiot.

There was only one thing to do.

And I knew I was going to fucking regret it.

Part Two

**-Nov. 7' 2010 1:30 PM-**

"Edward, how's adjusting?"

"Hell, I really can't complain." I sighed.

"Then your reaction is the polar opposite to how mine was."

"Is that so, I only have one more class and then I'm done for the day." And yet, I still need more coffee.

"Same here – hey, I was wondering, if you felt like it, later we could go out for some drinks?"

"You really don't waste much time do you?" I chuckled, taking another sip of the coffee, I had just poured, I sighed after that. "Look, Taylor, I appreciate you helping me out since I first came here but I just want to settle, and I'd like to stay friends, if that's okay? I'd probably screw things up if we were anything more." I tried to reason.

"She smiled, and nodded, thank god.

"I'll get you the faxed you just sent out then." But before I could protest – she was gone.

Overly friendly, that's all she was.

I took a deep breath and strode back down the hallway, into the courtyard, across the quad, down two more corridors to get to my classroom.

Ever since I first applied her I always felt on edge, for some unknown reason that was starting to drive me out of my mind. I wasn't sure what it was but at night it caused me to grade papers earlier then needed and ahead of schedule, writing extensive reviews on test and reading and re-reading reports in order to give my students the most accurate grade.

Every student hated me for that.

But that was too bad, college wasn't a walk in the park for me either, I wasn't about to let them off easy.

You could say I left the whole shrink "I'm here to help you and only you" persona at my old office. I wasn't that upset to see it all go.

Now I just teach it.

I figured it would be best to leave my practice, I was afraid of myself to say the least, afraid of treating other patients, yes, the shrink had mental issues too, how ironic, and such a cliché.

Nobody knew I couldn't bring myself to mention it when there was no reason. It would only ruin me and embarrass her.

"Professor Cullen?"

"Yes, Anna, what can I do?" I looked up to see one of my most devoted students standing in the doorway, only she would show up twenty minutes before my lectures, sometimes I wondered if she even had a life.

Hell – we could keep each other company.

**-5PM -**

"Sure you wont take me up on my offer?"

"I'm sure, good night." I smiled as she feigned mock hurt, her lips forming into an exaggerated pout.

"Night Edward, oh, and by the way, there's someone new starting tomorrow, I want you to meet her since her classroom will be right by yours, make her feel welcome." She warned,

"Depends on what kind of mood I'm in tomorrow, but sure I'll try." I stated, getting my things together, I wasn't entirely sure if I was serious or not.

"Yeah, none of your assholeish chauvinistic comments."

"You know you like them." Okay, now I was leading her on – time to leave.

With that I flipped off my lights and locked up, making my way to the faculty-parking garage.

**-Nov. 8' 2010 8AM -**

Fuck, I needed to get laid, I sighed as I poured my usual cup of coffee, off for another day as being a Professor, it had been two months and I still hadn't gotten used to it.

Was I being an idiot for turning down Taylor for sex?

Yeah.

Maybe I should ask her out tonight, I mused.

Hell – if all she wanted was no strings attached then that's any assholes dream.

I'm _there_.

"Professor Cullen? Are you sure you graded this right?"

Fuck, I sighed, I opened my bloodshot, painfully dry eyes to look up at no one other then Anna, yeah, she was nice and not a bad body, but today just wasn't the day for me.

"Pretty sure – I wont re-grade, if that's what you're thinking." I tried to be polite, but it just wasn't working out for me anymore. I looked back up to see her still standing in front of my desk, okay, class had ended five minutes ago, and she still was there.

"Is there anything I could do to bring this up?" she questioned, tilting her head to the side.

Jesus no.

Usually I'm not like this, I always thought her staying after and coming early were completely innocent, as if she truly interested in her grades, but who is? Now that I look up at her in her short skirt and low cut top, showing off the top of her breasts perfectly, I could only think of one reason.

Fuck no.

Not this again.

But the hard on I had been sporting since last nights dream, was saying something a little different.

Look how low I've gotten, of course no on noticed, they didn't know.

And of course I would dream of _her_ last night when I've had the last seven months to. Automatically setting me in a bad mood, as if my own head was tormenting me.

And this, some horny college girl wants me to give it to her. And I thought I've already had the worst day imaginable.

She knew I was staring, she knew I knew, but I couldn't look away from her fucking leg, they reminded me so much of _hers._ I was actually considering it, and I didn't care.

I wonder is she's wearing panties under that thing she calls a skirt.

But a damn knock on the door brought me out of the thoughts that were sure going to convince me on taking the innocent girl on my desk. She looked disappointed, and for a second so was I. That, was until I managed to get to the door, quickly adjusting myself before opening it, I heard a snicker behind me.

Fuck college girls, Anna wouldn't see me anymore.

"Mr. Cullen, am I interrupting things?" I shook my head while snapping myself out of it; I couldn't say I wasn't amused to notice a hint of jealously in Taylor's tone.

"Not at all – Anna was just asking me about a paper – she was just leaving." I turned to look at her while she nodded, taking her bag and leaving.

Thank god.

I turned my attention back on Taylor.

"Having fun?" she inquired, arching a thin eyebrow.

"Shit - are they all like this?" I asked quietly, scratching the back of my head, like I wasn't just going to let her seduce me and fuck her in my classroom, no, not at all.

She snorted, "I've had my share."

"I'll bet." I commented, thinking ahead to tonight, better to butter her up first I thought.

She gave me a sly smile before stepping into the hallway.

"Remember I was going to introduce you to your new neighbor?"

I sighed, "Yes – how could I forget?"

We took about five steps until we were next door, I already started to hear noised behind the door while Taylor opened it, gesturing me inside, I almost yelped in surprise when she grabbed my ass from behind.

_Really?_ I didn't know people still did that.

I looked back at her to see her smile and wink before shutting the door behind us; I resisted the urge to snort at it all. She tried too hard.

I then looked ahead to see a petite woman unloading shit from the boxes in front of her, her hair a curtain, from her face…a barrier.

My face paled, I could literally feel all the blood drain from my head, settling somewhere else.

No, God doesn't like me that much.

Or it could be the other way around – I just didn't know he hated me _that_ much.

Fuck.

"Taylor, I hope I'm not bothering you but could you show me – "She cut herself off as her head turned and my breath stopped in my throat, causing my whole body to freeze up

Her auburn hair fell away only to reveal.

Bella.

Shit, God really does like to see me squirm.

I hope you guys can tell the big change in Edwards personality, because I thought it was a big swing from when he first started out, I hope you guys like this so far, I think I only have about 1 chapter left 2 at the most. And here I go with the whole teacher thing again; I didn't mean to, I just had to think of something that he could go to, after quitting his job as a therapist, to really emphasize that he changed since Bella.


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow, well, I guess this is all I'm going to get, little Story Alerts and little Reviews, whats that number 4?? I know I sound like I'm whining when I say that couldn't be more let down, for those of you who reviewed, awesome for you guys, I will update Impossible, but the last month when I didn't update, I know I really was busy, but sometimes I'm just not motivated to really write a chapter, yes I will update Impossible next and try to after, I guess I just have to harbor up motivation to write somewhere else, since I wont find it here.**

**Is it lack of a Beta?? is that it? Anyway, enjoy, I thought this short Fic was pretty good too, well thanks for those who liked it.**

**Smut in this chapter, you'll be able to tell I haven't written smut in a while…a writer kind of goes on withdrawals after awhile, fellow Ficers, you know what I'm talking about.  
**

Jesus, Bella.

And I thought she couldn't get any more beautiful.

She had gained weight – but in the good way, I remembered she always had trouble eating at the start of our sessions, it seemed to just fill out her curves, her legs looked fuller and more luscious, I could say the same thing about her breast and her face just looked more delicate, and all around healthy, complete with full pouty red lips and small waist.

My body was already reacting which wasn't really a good thing. Not very gentlemanly which I recall her thinking of me in that sort of description, I snorted shit, would she be surprised.

"I – " she stopped, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Do you guys already know each other?" Taylor – who I had completely forgotten about at this point – question behind me, looking between the two of us.

"Yeah." We both answered in unison.

She looked at both of us and sighed,

"My offer still stands if you want to come tonight Edward." She stated before she left as if marking me as hers, the innuendo not lost on me, or Bella.

Finally, we were alone. Fuck.

I could already tell her breathing had picked up, my lungs following. I had to do something – shit, I had to _say_ something to her.

But my body wasn't cooperating with the second thought – only the first, I did do something, something I had wanted to do, but denying myself the conscious thought of ever agreeing. I was beginning to agree, us guys only think with our dicks.

This is how Bella changed me – even if without her knowledge in doing so – she has been tormenting me for the past, almost year, and now here she was. I couldn't think straight.

In three long strides, I reached her, gripping her head and smashing my lips to hers, a groan instantly escaping me as her soft lips yielded.

Even better then I remembered.

I could tell she was surprised at first, her hands gripping my wrists hard – at first, I thought she was going to pull away – but after a minute, I felt her little, sweet tongue brush against my top lip.

Hell yes.

I fucking needed her like I needed air.

I was surprised how quickly her desperation grew, matching mine, I felt her small, delicate hand latch onto the back of my neck, pushing our hips together, my erection settling into her soft belly, content on staying there for a while, but not for long. I could feel everything about her, her silk hair in my fingers, filled with the same scent I remember to the rough material of our denim jeans scraping against each other, the kiss was so raw and desperate, my dick only grew harder at the knowledge.

We both finally pulled away with a gasp. Our foreheads pushed together.

I watched in fascination and want as she licked the saliva from her lips continuously, so hot. I groaned, a smile tugging at her lips at the sound.

"Long time no see huh?" she said casually.

Fuck, even her voice had gotten sweeter.

"Too long." I breathed, going for another heated kiss, shit I had acted like a gentleman for too long.

I felt my hands brush down to her waist, going behind her to cup her ass roughly, delectable. She moaned, perfect. Things weren't too fast – my control slipping, why don't I just let it?

"I want you." She moaned, wrapping her arms around my shoulders.

"Not as much as I need you." I growled in challenge, thrusting my hips forward, her knees becoming weak – I smirked.

"Then do it." She challenged back, her hand trailing downward to my belt, raking her nails alongst my abs, barely noticing she had lifted up my shirt. I was surprised by her new boldness – seems like we both changed. That's all it took, there was no way I would turn down her invitation, I let my control go, leaving it with my old self, where it belonged. I peeled my shirt off my body, forgetting the buttons; I looked up to see her lace bra right in my face.

Fuck.

I groaned, automatically bending down to place sucking kisses at the tops of her beautiful breasts, practically spilling out of their cups. Begging me to undo the clasp. I would not refuse them.

My hands gripped them firmly, I heard Bella gasp and whimper throwing her head back, her long hair brushing against my fingers as I undid the offending confinement of her breasts.

"Eager?" she mewled, arching an eyebrow as her eyes met mine. Her newfound confidence was such a turn on, my pants already impossibly tight.

"You have no idea." I pulled her with me, not wanting her to be an inch away from me as I locked the door, no interruptions. I brought my lips back to her, taking in her sweet breath as she panted into my mouth, my tongues thrusting into her mouth.

"Where – "she gasped as I nipped her neck, crazy to make her mine.

Mine. I almost growled against her skin.

I didn't answer as I pushed her backwards, her ass bumping into her long desk at the front of her classroom.

Fuck yes; I growled as I started on her jeans, everything had to be off, I groaned as her nails began to continuously graze across my back, the feeling so intoxicating.

This was madness.

Our jeans cam down together at the same time.

I lost it as I ripped her flimsy, soaked panties from her body, flinging them across the room, I growled almost animalistic as Bella almost tore down my boxers from my thighs, raking her nails alongst my skin, my cock springing forth by her force desperation.

Fuck yes.

I wasted no time as she spread her legs, hopping onto the table, her heels settling on my ass and pulled me forward, entering her in one swift thrust, forgetting about the formality of taking my time.

"Fuck." I groaned desperately, panting against her shoulder, lapping up the sweat that had collected with my tongue, the bitter taste of salt settling in my mouth. I snapped my hips forward, losing my mind by the immediate friction she countered by grinding her hips with mine. Her arms gripped my shoulders deathly, her head falling back as I continued my onslaught.

"Edward." She gasped, as I thrust deeper, the only thing I was hell bent on right now, deeper, I need to feel more of her.

"Right there." She moaned, against my temple, my hairline collecting with sweat.

"You mean here? [thrust] here? [thrust] here?" I growled possessively, looking up, smashing my lips with hers, my tongue thrusting through her mouth, matching the rhythm of my hips.

"God" Bella turning away for breath, panting as if she couldn't catch it.

"You feel amazing."

"So do you." She sighed, moaning as my hips snapped at her words she was mine. Mine. I could feel the table creaking under us, the sound only adding to my arousal I was so close, but still I couldn't reach my release, not yet.

"Hurry." Bella urged, her small frame starting to tremble in my arms, "Oh god, hurry."

"You first." I challenged, repeating the word we always said, my hand trailing down to her soaking, hot bundle of nerves, I swiped once, a squeal coming out of her bruised lips.

"Yes, that's it." I breathed, quickening my pace, fuck, she was magnificent, her back began to arch, gracefully as she leaned backwards, her beautiful breasts claimed by my all too eager lips.

"No Edward – I – "

"Come on baby – " I cut her off, her first I chanted, so close "Come for me its been too long since I've seen you." I confessed, trembling as my powerful release was starting to become inevitable. I lifted one of her legs above my shoulder and with two more thrusts, I watched her unravel, transfixed, while I finally let go, stiffening as exploded deep into her.

_I take it for medical reasons. _

I heard her voice in my head from when she told me about birth control in our first session.

"Jesus." I gasped, our pants filling the room as I tried to catch my breath, mesmerized by her glistening breast rising and falling by her own gasps of air. I gingerly pulled out of her, leaning my head against her soft belly, as we both caught our breaths. I don't know how long we laid there, but I felt my ear perk up as she raked her hands through my hair.

"Hhmm." I moaned.

"Edward." I heard her whisper softly; I took in her exhausted expression and droopy eyes as I lifted my head. She still looked exquisite.

"Wow." She smiled softly, tiredly, her breast rising and falling slowly as her body rested softly on the desk, then it clicked, she was the kind of person who laid contently, quietly, calmly by you after sex, the kind of person who was completely burned out after one round, I always hated those types, but Bella just looked completely content and happy, I loved to see it. I remembered back to how her eyes had fluttered closed; coming quietly as we reached our climaxed, even during sex she was delicate as ever.

Perhaps I had changed too much for her.

I frowned at this, I couldn't handle that a second time – for me to leave, and that's when I remembered, I was the one who left, not her.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her towards me so she could anchor herself against my body; she was completely dead weight in my arms, but still soft and warm. Her head rested on my shoulder, and she sighed, her eyes falling closed.

My heart suddenly ached this was such an intimate moment after the act that was supposed to be, but ended up not.

My old mind began to think,

"Bella – are you okay?"

I should've asked sooner, before I even attached, her – I was so fucked up, I didn't think.

"Never better." She breathed, starting to place kisses across my bare shoulder, she giggled as I began to harden instantly against her warm thigh.

I groaned, "Don't start now." I warned, or else I wouldn't stop until I had her on the floor for another round, and that thought wasn't helping much either.

"I missed you." She said against my still hot skin, her arms wrapping around me. The aching started in my chest again, she was starting to make me feel like I once did, not necessarily a good thing, I didn't want to go back there.

"I did too." I admitted, returning her comforting embrace.

"I could tell that much." I felt her lips curve against my ear, as she laughed softly, teasing me.

I pulled her tighter, she felt so much better, she looked better and she seemed happier, making me smile, perhaps she was able to move on, after all I did rush into the whole naked thing to say the least, unable to ask questions I didn't want to at the time, my body having other plans. It still does.

"Have you settled it?" I wondered, her soft brown eyes met mine, fuck; it had been so long since I'd seen them.

She shook her head; "I'm stay at a hotel right now, until I can find a place."

"Come with me." I cradled her head in my hands taking in the meaning to all this. Her eyes widened adorably, her head immediately dropping.

"I couldn't I – " I silenced her by crashing my lips to hers; I would have none of that.

"Your desire to avoid being a burden is not acceptable anymore, you can take my space up any time you like." I said, returning to sucking on her delectable bottom lip, quickly becoming my favorite hobby.

I pulled away to pick up her shirt by our feet, slipping it over her head, eager to get her home, oh yes, round two, yes and please.

She giggled as I softly took her arms, slipping them into the sleeves forgetting bra – who needs a bra anyway? Fuck I don't, and Bella didn't either I could admire her pert breast much better this way. I mused.

"Too bad I can't wear my panties." She huffed in mock disappointment.

"Tragic." I agreed – trying to keep a straight face, and failing, Bella burst out into beautiful giggles, I could get used to this. I stepped back to pull on my boxers and jeans quickly slipping on my shirt and throwing her bra and panties into my coat pocket. Mine. I smiled deviously at her. I admired her graceful figure as she shimmied into her jeans delectable, I strained to look away, wait until your alone I chided myself. Then I could have all the time I wanted with her.

When her head look up after she was done, my lips met hers. Her hands gripped my neck just the way I like a kiss, slow, yet rough and intimate, passionate of course.

"Lets go." She whispered I chuckled at our equal level of eagerness.

Round two with Bella – and hopefully many to come.

Yes and please.

"Mm – where were we?"

I listen to her laugh as I pushed her against my front door after I just closed it. I felt her hands ghost across my face, reminding me to do it right this time. Her lips were soft and sure and just plain maddening.

"Do you like it here?" she wondered, backing me up to slip off her shirt, fuck if I could even answer her question now. I cupped her pert breasts, sucking at her neck.

"I do now." I murmured, toeing off my shoes and socks.

Her sharp intake of breath only made me harden further as I looked up at her, pulling her to me – my shirt pulled off as well.

"How about we do this on a bed?"

She smiled against my lips, "Sounds good."

"I had a feeling you'd agree."

I picked her small body up in my arms, groaning as her supple legs came up to warp around my waist, her thighs squeezing my hips I couldn't wait to be between them. I buried my face in her breast, they were simply magnificent, her hands cradling head, so soft and gentle, I could be too, I encouraged myself.

I fell back on the bed – Bella giggling as she bounced along, my mind plugging at the sight in front of my face, then the next thing I know she was shimming out of her jeans on top of me, god, her legs, I was mesmerized.

"Jesus Bella." I moaned, cupping her beautiful bare ass in my hands, pulling her up closer to me.

"Edward." She whispered hovering over me, shit I had to keep in control. I grabbed her small waist, rolling over while I quickly discarded my jeans and boxers.

"Bella, I'm sorry for – " wanting to apologize for earlier. But she cut me off, by raking her nails down my hips right where my body pulsed and throbbed for her.

Fuck.

"I trust you – remember? I know you wouldn't hurt me." She stated so confidently, shaking her head, I breathed in, leaning my forehead against her for a moment.

Yes, I trusted her too.

The moment seemed just too intimate for the simple hold we had on each other in that minute.

"Now," we both stated in unison, as I thrust into her, her back arching up gracefully her butter smooth legs wrapped around me mid back as I continued to move over her, in her. This time I paid attention to how she kept her moans and whimpers quiet I noticed how her eyes never left mine as I kept them, the sex seemed so much more emotional with her, something that just came with her personality.

I kissed her as our breaths lingered against each other lips, only pulling away briefly for air, and I kissed her as our pace increased, I continued to kiss her as she silently came underneath me and in my arms.

And I stiffened, as I came deeply inside of her, finding release, finding something.

"Stay with me." I breathed, her body already curled close to my side.

"Of course."

I wanted to keep her with me; I wanted to keep this me that seemed to leave when I did.

**THE END**

**The ending may have seemed a little cheesy, but I liked it, I kind of feel satisfied with this story, probably because I was able to jot it down and finish it so easily and quickly, I'd like to find out what you guys thought of it, and I will update Impossible soon, so don't worry.**


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